As promised, for those that want a single sentence summary, I will provide it. This time, with a picture:
For everybody else, lend me your ears and I will tell you a story...
Cheers, like many ill-conceived plans was founded on a simple principal:
All went well, but eventually we realized we looked around and realized our drinking environment was boring. People didn't do anything when we went on our blissful rampages. There was never any brawls, never any heated drunken exchanges on the value of socialist theory in a capitalist society. Instead, tribe after tribe rolled over. We continued to hoard our piles of ill-gotten goods and enjoyed our vandalized neighborhoods, but it lacked any meaning. It made us sad, despite our successes. Even as we noticed this about our region, others reported the same from there own.
So we decided, what this world needs is a tavern. A place that we can have our drunken revelry in an enjoyable environment. And barring that, at least a place where we could drink our concerns about the declining quality of players away.
But opening a business is a risky endeavor. It takes a lot of work and careful planning. Its not one of those things you just do on a whim – which is exactly the sort of thing we had no experience in. So we knew we needed help.
Enter Nuts! The tribe with a plan. Cold, calculated, and ruthlessly taking their own K systematically, one village at a time. A stark contrast to our own willy-nilly noble and war at-will strategies. Almost immediately, Nuts! improved on the plan, suggesting that they provide the salty snacks instead of relying on the pickled-eggs we were going to offer our patrons.
With the issue of snacks settled, we moved on to the next major issue. Location. That was relatively simple. We needed something close, something we could all stumble home from and the rest of the world could come visit for a drink. K45/K46 is the obvious choice.
As is common in business, the current owner will find it as a bit of a shock to know that there is such a commercial interest in their property.
But we expect that negotiations will go smoothly. We happened to run into Lesbe, the spokesperson of the group, while he was bringing back the spoils of their recent "war".
However everytime Lesbe spoke to either Cheers or Nuts!, he would not stop trying to make friends. We could tell that he had a very different picture of how to play the game, much less use this bit of property.
We tried to reason with him. The world tried to reason with him.
We tried to the point of insanity. And it necessitated the collective need for the tavern just that much more.
And so now – done reasoning with the unreasonable – we are simply announcing:
We are going to be opening our new business here on this bit of land.
As expected, the inhabitants, are not happy with our decision.
And so now we return back to our respective homes, having delivered our message. We will rest easy again, knowing that in a single act we can both eliminate a subset of our problem, as well as offer a lasting solution to our drinking woes. Soon, it will be drinking time at Moe's Tavern.
P.S. Just for clarification, this is not a declaration of war. We fully hope that this will last more than 10 days. Further, we have no intentions of inviting Lesbe or Purr leadership to join us when this is over in return for selling out the rest of their tribe. Since the meaning of war declarations have changed so much over the years I have been gone, I will simply call this a "Declaration of Good-times to Come," and leave it at that.
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